The time I shit myself

I was 22. A girl I’d been close friends with before she moved away was in town and invited me for a drink with her and her new boyfriend. I meet them, have a couple beers and go home. Very unremarkable evening. Drive home is 45 minutes through bumfucknowhere. Halfway there my stomach starts doing […]

My family feels like a cult

My family feels like a cult.
When I visit, I feel like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby, entering a building whose inhabitants are all members of the same cult just watching and waiting for her to join them. Seriously: When I walk in, conversations stop, everyone just turns and stairs. The stairs are followed by forced smiles and forced conversation, fake laughter, exaggerated hospitality.

How accurate are Scott Adams’ predictions?

Scott Adams, the cartoonist/author behind Dilbert and a host of books, likes to make predictions on his blog and Periscope. Watching his Periscope today, I thought it’d be fun to track and score those predictions based on accuracy. My plan is to update this post from time to time with new predictions and how they panned […]

5 times Ted Cruz made us laugh

Ted Cruz: To know him is to love him. That glorious dad bod. The greasy side part. His steadfast support of a president who mercilessly mocked him before millions during televised presidential debates. That grating Warren T. Rat voice. But, most of all, we love Ted because he makes us laugh. Over the years, Ted’s […]

Is mooching immoral?

We all know a mooch: the coworker who borrows a dollar and never pays it back, the friend who invites you to a bar and then can’t pay their own tab, the first date who orders the lobster-stuffed, caviar-encrusted filet mignon and doesn’t even offer so much as a rim job in return (that bitch). […]

4 reasons why your sciency clickbait article is a steaming pile of shit

Someone I follow on Twitter recently shared a March 2017 New York Post article titled “Staring at boobs is just one of six easy ways men can live longer.” The article is by Andrea Downey who is a health reporter for the Sun. Her article cites some factoids about life expectancy and chromosome counts and […]

Sexist creation, feminist salvation

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the denial of women as equal members of the religious body, as well as of their very humanity, is nowhere more clearly illustrated than in the first book of the Bible. Genesis 2:21-23: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and he took […]

Did federal minimum wage laws kill American Samoa?

I regularly tune in to Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams’ political rants on Periscope. During a recent philippic, he mentioned in passing that federal minimum wage laws recently devastated American Samoa’s once-booming economy. He basically painted a picture of a paradise-turned-ghetto with equality-of-outcome economic policies to blame. I, of course, had to look into this claim. […]

Dallas “Big Country” McCarver’s autopsy report reveals official cause of death is heart failure

On 28 November 2017, Florida’s District 15 medical examiner released bodybuilder Dallas “Big Country” McCarver’s autopsy report revealing his official cause of death to be “severe concentric left ventricular hypertrophy [enlarged/thickened heart] with coronary atherosclerosis [clogged arteries].” It further states contributing factors include “chronic use of exogenous steroid and non-steroid hormones.”