Author: helvegr

Dumb movie reviews

During the pandemic of 2020, working mostly from home, I quickly discovered that I enjoyed working on my laptop, a cup of coffee beside me, with something playing on the TV. But it had to be the right something. A well-plotted movie or engaging TV show would be too distracting. I needed entertainment that was […]

The time I shit myself

I was 22. A girl I’d been close friends with before she moved away was in town and invited me for a drink with her and her new boyfriend. I meet them, have a couple beers and go home. Very unremarkable evening. Drive home is 45 minutes through bumfucknowhere. Halfway there my stomach starts doing […]

My family feels like a cult

My family feels like a cult.
When I visit, I feel like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby, entering a building whose inhabitants are all members of the same cult just watching and waiting for her to join them. Seriously: When I walk in, conversations stop, everyone just turns and stairs. The stairs are followed by forced smiles and forced conversation, fake laughter, exaggerated hospitality.

Did Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams predict Donald Trump would be president?

Scott Adams, cartoonist, entrepreneur and author behind the Dilbert cartoon and a host of books, likes to make predictions on his blog and Periscope. Scott often brags that he predicted the Trump presidency back in 2015 when few people took the billionaire TV-personality’s candidacy seriously. A 2018 Forbes article on Scott even linked the success of […]

5 times Ted Cruz made us laugh

Ted Cruz: To know him is to love him. That glorious dad bod. The greasy side part. His steadfast support of a president who mercilessly mocked him before millions during televised presidential debates. That grating Warren T. Rat voice. But, most of all, we love Ted because he makes us laugh. Over the years, Ted’s […]

Is mooching immoral?

We all know a mooch: the coworker who borrows a dollar and never pays it back, the friend who invites you to a bar and then can’t pay their own tab, the first date who orders the lobster-stuffed, caviar-encrusted filet mignon and doesn’t even offer so much as a rim job in return (that bitch). […]

Sexist creation, feminist salvation

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the denial of women as equal members of the religious body, as well as of their very humanity, is nowhere more clearly illustrated than in the first book of the Bible. Genesis 2:21-23: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and he took […]