5 times Ted Cruz made us laugh

Jimmy Kimmel recently compared Ted Cruz to a Blob Fish
Jimmy Kimmel recently compared Ted Cruz to a Blob Fish

Ted Cruz: To know him is to love him. That glorious dad bod. The greasy side part. His steadfast support of a president who mercilessly mocked him before millions during televised presidential debates. That grating Warren T. Rat voice. But, most of all, we love Ted because he makes us laugh. Over the years, Ted’s delivered so many gut busters, it’s hard to keep track. Well, here are five times Ted Cruz made us laugh that will send you chortling down memory lane. Continue reading 5 times Ted Cruz made us laugh

Is mooching immoral?

Joey the mooch
Joey the mooch

We all know a mooch: the coworker who borrows a dollar and never pays it back, the friend who invites you to a bar and then can’t pay their own tab, the first date who orders the lobster-stuffed, caviar-encrusted filet mignon and doesn’t even offer so much as a rim job in return (that bitch).

Anyway, I was recently fuming over a mooch when I thought: Why am I so pissed? I mean, I knew this motherfucker was worthless, so it’s not like what they did was a surprise. And that led me to a bigger question: Is mooching immoral? I mean, is my moral outrage even justified? Well, to answer that question, we’ll first need to cover the typology of moochery. Continue reading Is mooching immoral?

4 reasons why your sciency clickbait article is a steaming pile of shit

sexy writer

Someone I follow on Twitter recently shared a March 2017 New York Post article titled “Staring at boobs is just one of six easy ways men can live longer.” The article is by Andrea Downey who is a health reporter for the Sun. Her article cites some factoids about life expectancy and chromosome counts and lists “six ways a man can boost his life expectancy.” Downey’s tips include “stare at boobs”, “have lots of sex”, “get married”, “have kids”, “be responsible” and “get a ‘dad bod'”.1

Here are 4 reasons why this sciency, clickbait article is a steaming pile of shit. Continue reading 4 reasons why your sciency clickbait article is a steaming pile of shit

Sexist creation, feminist salvation

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the denial of women as equal members of the religious body, as well as of their very humanity, is nowhere more clearly illustrated than in the first book of the Bible. Genesis 2:21-23:

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs…[from which] made he a woman…and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.”

Here we have the biological import of woman—that of childbearing—taken from her and given to man: Man is born of the earth, and woman is born of man. The serpent then tempts Eve, and Eve tempts Adam. The disenfranchisement and vilification of woman is complete. Continue reading Sexist creation, feminist salvation

Did federal minimum wage laws kill American Samoa?

Tri Marine International cannery in American Samoa, 2013
Tri Marine International cannery in Atu’u, American Samoa; from GAO-14-381, p. 44

I regularly tune in to Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams’ political rants on Periscope. During a recent philippic, he mentioned in passing that federal minimum wage laws recently devastated American Samoa’s once-booming economy. He basically painted a picture of a paradise-turned-ghetto with equality-of-outcome economic policies to blame. I, of course, had to look into this claim. Here is what I found. Continue reading Did federal minimum wage laws kill American Samoa?

Dallas “Big Country” McCarver’s autopsy report reveals official cause of death is heart failure

Dallas McCarver modeling an OYE-branded hoodie
Dallas McCarver modeling an OYE-branded hoodie

On 28 November 2017, Florida’s District 15 medical examiner released bodybuilder Dallas “Big Country” McCarver’s autopsy report revealing his official cause of death to be “severe concentric left ventricular hypertrophy [enlarged/thickened heart] with coronary atherosclerosis [clogged arteries].” It further states contributing factors include “chronic use of exogenous steroid and non-steroid hormones.”
Continue reading Dallas “Big Country” McCarver’s autopsy report reveals official cause of death is heart failure

Rich Piana’s Autopsy: Official Cause of Death Will Remain “Undetermined”


This is the autopsy report showing Rich Piana’s official cause of death. Rich Piana died on August 25, 2017, in hospital in Land O’ Lakes, Florida, where he had recently relocated from California. Florida’s District Six Medical Examiner’s Office, which serves Pinellas and Pasco counties, graciously provided this electronic copy of the report.

Continue reading Rich Piana’s Autopsy: Official Cause of Death Will Remain “Undetermined”

Who was at the Boston Free Speech rally?

a photo of Boston Free Speech protesters
Boston Free Speech protesters

So, this morning at brunch, my girlfriend and I watched live news coverage of the Boston Free Speech rally and its infinitely larger protest. The narrative seemed to be that the protesters were all liberal bleeding-heart types and that the rally attendees were a bunch of racist, Donald Trump supporting, alt-right white folk. But, a few hours later, Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert) took to Periscope asking if anyone knew for sure that the Boston Free Speech group was actually there to promote racism. And, of the 1,000+ people watching his Periscope, no one (myself included) seemed to know.

This is me trying to answer that question. Now, I don’t actually know for certain who all showed up to this event. What I do know is the list of speakers the group published shortly before the event. Here is the annotated list. Continue reading Who was at the Boston Free Speech rally?

Why would Donald Trump want to fuck his daughter?

Donald Trump with his daughter, Ivanka Trump
Donald Trump with daughter Ivanka

During the run-up to the 2016 U.S. presidential election, political pundits, comedians and others made sport of implying that Donald Trump either wanted to fuck his daughter, Ivanka Trump, or already had.1 2 3 GIFs of Trump’s daughters spurning his embraces, and video clips of him ogling them and referring to them as sex objects, circulated widely. While I didn’t think he had fucked them–and couldn’t possibly like him any less if he had–I couldn’t help but wonder: Why would Donald Trump want to fuck his daughter? Why would any father? So I Googled it.  Continue reading Why would Donald Trump want to fuck his daughter?

What is the caselaw regarding cops killing people?

bullet with police badge and kkk maskHere in the United States it feels like a week can’t go by without a white cop killing an unarmed black man. It’s a distressing situation made that much more overwhelming by all the complicated and unresolved social problems it brings front and center for all the bobbleheads to poke and prod and jabber about but do nothing to change.

I don’t think I’m capable of adequately understanding and addressing all of those issues. Hell, I know I’m not. However, one question I can at least scratch the surface of is the question of caselaw. I spent a recent Sunday quaffing coffee and Googling the shit out of terms like “officer-involved shooting”, “deadly force”, “excessive force” and “police brutality”, and now I am an expert on the subject.1

What I gleaned through my Cyberian wanderings is that the caselaw deals with three subjects: the criminality of the officer’s conduct (Did s/he commit murder/manslaughter?), the liability of the officer (Can the victim’s family sue him/her personally?), and the liability of the officer’s employer (Should the state/city/agency compensate the victim’s family?). In other words, we’re dealing with criminal law (Should the officer go to prison?) and civil law (Can the officer/police department be sued?).

I’ll relate what I found regarding all of these, but we’ll start by defining our terms. Next I’ll talk about the civil law. I’ll end with a discussion of the criminal caselaw. Continue reading What is the caselaw regarding cops killing people?